By: Pam Osborne

My day began on such a high note; I should have realized that it was the perfect timing for a sabotage. 

My daughter returned home from college and I was experiencing motherly euphoria at having my chicks back in the nest. My daughter left the house to run errands leaving me at home with my 16 year old son.  Watching her drive away I turned and then walked into the bonus room where he was watching television. That’s when I saw it (or should I say “them”) in their full glory.

My son was watching porn! Well my motherly euphoria was instantly replaced with shock, must admit some awe, then rage, followed by an enormous serving of hurt.  Oh how I wanted to release a fiery tongue lashing. The nerve of him dishonoring me and my house, etcetera, etcetera -- but God stepped in. I calmly took the remote (maybe snatched) and then told him how disappointed I was in his choices. I turned around and went to the back bedroom for some breathing room and a serious 911 call to Jesus. 

I’m pretty sure there was no chapter on this subject in my mommy handbook. 

Why did this happen to me and not his father - right?? I heard my son in his room doing pushups to work off some aggression, I could see so clearly the pain and conflict he was experiencing.  My heart just broke.  In that moment, it was kind of like an outer body experience, I found myself empathizing with my son and the temptations he must be going through as a young man. 

At sixteen, he is still a child in a man’s body. After praying, I was able to speak some Godly truths to him regarding the temptations of Jesus (something we had discussed the week before at Church) and how we must align ourselves with him, and that we need to call to Jesus for help when we are tempted.  I also felt God prompt me to share my own experience as a young woman, and the regret I carried into my marriage about not waiting to have sex.  Yes, I said the “S” word to my son. We took a breather after that, and it was not long before he came back into my room and gave me a hug.

Ladies I’m here to tell you that that moment was more precious than gold - amen. After he left is when the full weight of what happened washed over me.  I literally asked myself, “What just happened?” And then I knew that God had stepped in and took over in that situation. 

I’m usually an emotional mess that can’t put two words together without the water works turning on. He did not leave me alone in that crucial moment.   All of the doubts and demons that haunt us in a mismatched marriage were so put to rest.

Does God care that I’m doing this by myself? Yes. Am I equipped to handle this? No, but God is.

Does he love & protect my children? Yes.

Are all those tears and hours on my knees worth it?  Most definitely.

Like it or not, we SUMites we are the first line of defense for our families. It’s not always easy being the spiritual leader of the household.  I’m sometimes tempted to get angry at my unbelieving husband and feel like “Where are you when our son needs you?” But God reminds me that it is “not yet his time” and that “he doesn't see what we see or hear what we hear “- sigh. So I accept this calling to be a “warrior mom”, to continue having patient hope for my husband’s salvation, and vowing to never turn off the parental controls on the TV again.

Bio: I am a Native of S.C. and have lived here most of my life.  My husband and I have been married for 24 years and are the parents of two teenagers.  My daughter is in her Freshman year of college and my son is a junior in high school.  I am blessed to be a member of a Community Church here in town and involved in a Small Group, where I first heard of the Spiritually Mismatched Website.